Being Gay or Lesbian in College or University: Light and Shadows

They are young and openly gay, lesbian or bisexual. They have one goal in mind: to build a future that matches their ambitions. They are convinced that their difference is an advantage in the struggle against prejudice. Between two exams and as many meetings, they take the time to meet with a journalist and express their opinions on the daily lives of gays and lesbians who, like themselves, are still in school. Each has had unique but complementary experiences that, taken together, form an enlightening portrait of their present condition.

Amélie Gagnon, age 28, is president of L’Alternative, a Université de Montréal association of homosexual and bisexual students and their friends. As well as being active in the student association of her department (demographics), she participates in the university’s Regroupement des étudiant(e)s démocrates and Action humanitaire et communautaire. She is an involved citizen and sees herself as a happy, fulfilled person. “There are various aspects to my identity: on the one hand a student, on the other a worker; one the one hand homo, on the other hetero. It’s pretty fluid!” She resists labels and believes that fundamentally, relations are homosexual, not people. The idea is not to categorize people solely in terms of their sexual orientation. “If someone wants to identify themselves on that basis, that’s their right,” she says. A friend, aware of her beliefs, encouraged her to attend her first meeting of L’Alternative.

Seemingly destined for a life of activism, she adds, “I’m someone who refuses to accept that people are treated differently because of their sexual orientation.” Asked about the experiences of gays and lesbians at her university, she answers, “It’s hard for me to comment on the situation: L’Alternative has only existed for the past two years. However, I can say that these people seek out each other’s company, try to get to know each other, and create support networks, while informing the university community about their reality and about sexual diversity.”

“The plague of our times is ignorance!”

Amélie notes that homophobia is a concern for the students she represents, but is careful to point out that it varies according to the program of study. In her view, the struggle against homophobia is built on information, education and communication. “The plague of our times is ignorance! Ignorance leads to isolation, which in turn creates distrust and fear. False information about homosexuality has been spread for hundreds of years, so it’s no surprise that homophobia still exists.” Concretely, when students are faced with a lack of understanding among their peers, she advises them to seek answers to their questions using reliable resources, such as support organizations, teachers, educational workers and scientists. That makes it easier to answer questions that they may be asked. “Often, homophobes don’t realize how similar a gay relationship is to a hetero relationship—that the questions we ask ourselves and the things we go through are the same,” she concludes.

Agitating for change

Tiago Graça is a 22-year-old student in administrative data processing at Collège Ahuntsic, a general and vocational college (CEGEP) in Montréal. Since spring 2006, he has been head of Le Placard, the gay and lesbian association at his CEGEP. He has surprised himself at how far he has come in a short time. “I’m Portuguese,” he explains, “so we are taught from a very young age that there are many bad aspects to homosexuality. Plus, there are the religious reasons. It’s seen as something very negative.” Just two years ago, he was petrified at the idea of being identified as gay. After talking with close friends of both sexes, he opened up to a social worker. She referred him to Project 10, which promotes the personal, social, sexual and mental well-being of 14- to 25-year-olds who are questioning their sexual orientation. He began to take part in regular discussion groups. It was a revelation! He realized that he was not alone in going through this difficult situation. As he gained confidence, he decided to come out. “I needed to be true to myself with my parents, no matter how they would react,” he admits.

Coming out of the closet caused a few waves in his family. After moving out—a painful but ultimately positive decision—Tiago entered a crucial phase in his self-affirmation process. “I needed to move out,” he says. “It was a sign of my autonomy and independence. It changed my parents’ perception of me and, even though they still see me as their little boy, they respect me.” With renewed energy, Tiago began to get involved in his community. He attended meetings of the Montreal Youth Coalition Against Homophobia, where his dynamism was noticed.

He was asked to act as an envoy to the MultiMundo Coalition, which brings together community organizations and individuals working with GLBTs (gays, lesbians, bisexuals and transgender people) from Montréal’s ethnocultural communities. The coalition was officially founded on May 8, 2006. Several weeks before that, Tiago was approached by AlterHéros and agreed to become president of the organization, which runs a Website to combat homophobia through education and communication. Meanwhile, he was involved in the Quebec Alliance for Queer Youth (REJAQ/QAQY), whose mission is to promote understanding and acceptance in Quebec society of sexual diversity among 14- to 30-year-olds. These days, he is working to recruit members to the GLBT association at Collège Ahuntsic. “We have a hard time recruiting people because they’re afraid of being singled out, as I used to be.”

“My first contacts with hetero guys in CEGEP were not that easy”

Several years ago, Sébastien Huard, age 20, became involved in the Association gaie et lesbienne du Cégep du Vieux-Montréal (AGLCVM), before switching to Collège de Maisonneuve to study multimedia. It was during that period that he told his parents he was gay. He’s never really had any problems being gay and accepted his parents’ opposition. “I respected their way of thinking,” he says, adding that their relationship has improved since then. During his militant years, he learned a lot from his colleagues. “I realized that the best attitude to adopt was to accept people as they are, without judging them.” Not as simple as it seems, when the shoe’s on the other foot. “My first contacts with guys were not that easy. I knew I shouldn’t talk with them too much.”

At the association’s club room, he found solace and especially, people he could talk with. Without pushing things, he started to improve his contacts with the other students. “At first, I was friends with the girls. And since they have influence over the guys… Three years later, there was no problem any more!” he notes with a touch of humour. Sébastien recalls that the distance between him and the other guys gradually lessened as they spent time together. The initial homophobia was replaced by curiosity. “I remember spending lunchtimes answering their questions. After a while they accepted me, and I didn’t push myself on them or change the way I am.”

For more than 20 years, Evangeline Caldwell has been a teacher in the department of psychology at Vanier College. A radical feminist from the movement’s early days and a strong advocate of same-sex marriage, she takes a position similar to Amélie Gagnon’s. “The issue of love and respect for love is a message with great impact these days.” She believes the tide is turning in Quebec. “Over the past eight years or so, I feel that human rights have become a central concern for Quebecers, who have decided that discrimination is a thing of the past,” she observes. She has high expectations for the conclusions of a report on the situation of gays and lesbians in schools, which will be released by the Commission des droits de la personne et des droits de la jeunesse. For the first time, and with the government’s backing, it will paint an overall picture of the situation and offer recommendations to correct problems that are identified.

Meanwhile, Evangeline Caldwell is putting all her energy into helping the students at her school, which does not yet have a GLBT student association. For the past year, she has run a “positive space” named the Open Door Network, which offers events aimed at students and teaching staff on issues related to sexual orientation and gender identity. The network also provides training to college staff, including management, on the same themes. Ms. Caldwell is delighted that the administration of Vanier College supports the project and has even released funds for the initiative. The training program has met with great success and is followed by around 18 people per session. On completing the training, staff members are available to students who need a sympathetic ear and support. A clearly identifiable logo indicates to students that the person wearing it is open-minded and committed to helping. Through this “positive space,” Evangeline Caldwell is trying to demystify homosexuality and hopefully, dispel the students’ fear of participating in an eventual GLBT association.

Patricia Caissy is 26 years old and studying human resources at Université du Québec à Montréal (UQÀM). After coming out as a bisexual, she learned about REDS, the Regroupement étudiant dans la diversité sexuelle. “I had no models,” she explains, “no gay friends, no resources. So I went to see my university’s gay association to get to know people who felt the same thing as I did.” Now vice-president of activities at REDS, she learned the lesson well. “I feel comfortable with who I am and because of that, the people who meet me can ask whatever questions they want and I will answer as well as I can. If people prefer to stoke their fears or their dislike of me without knowing me, that’s their problem!” Asked to comment on the daily experiences of gays and lesbians at Université du Québec à Montréal, who are not always as self-assured as she is, Patricia admits there are differences depending on the field of study. “A theatre or fashion student can be openly gay, whereas a student in economics or engineering might choose to keep his or her private life private.” To combat these disparities, Patricia believes in the power of social commitment. And to those who doubt the dynamism of young people, she responds, “Young people are out there working, expressing their identities, helping each other out, doing volunteer work, and especially, finding new ways to integrate into society.”

“We ask gay people to go beyond the gay village”

She believes that in REDS, she has found a way to encourage diverse points of view, mutual comprehension, harmony between individuals and the elimination of prejudice. “REDS is not aimed exclusively at the GLBT community,” she observes. “We represent sexual diversity, so we have members who are gay, lesbian, hetero, bi, etc. We ask gay people to be open-minded and go beyond the gay village, and we ask heterosexuals to understand the spirit of mutual help and co-operation in the GLBT community. We also encourage them to recognize the similarities between their reality and that of gay people.” Patricia regrets that homosexuality is virtually absent from courses at her university. “One thing is sure, only one course deals with homosexuality at UQÀM and it’s an optional course, even for students in sexology.”

“The notion of sexual diversity should be present in all courses”—Michel Dorais, professor

Michel Dorais, a professor and researcher in the faculty of social science at Université Laval in Québec, is also concerned about the fact that students in Quebec encounter almost no courses in homosexuality throughout their college and university careers. “For example, at the master’s level, there is only one course dealing with sexual diversity at Université Laval. One! That’s right, and it’s me who gives it. Not only that, it’s only given every two years because they think hardly anyone is interested. But consider the fact that there are as many GLBTs as there are anglophones in Quebec! Whole courses are given on the women’s movement and on Aboriginal people. I’m very glad about that, but why isn’t it the same for gays and lesbians?” asks Mr. Dorais, the author of Éloge de la diversité sexuelle (1999).

In his opinion, the reason for the silence is that homosexuality is still seen as marginal and as a subject that is hardly worth mentioning in class. He praises the initiative of certain professors, who introduce the subject into their courses, but in his opinion, more is needed. “If I’m speaking of human development and I don’t mention that a person can be fulfilled with someone of the same sex, I’m not really doing the subject justice. The notion of sexual diversity must be present. We should talk about it everywhere, in all courses that talk about human beings,” he insists.

Asked about the role of GLBT student associations in colleges and universities, Michel Dorais maintains a critical stance. “It’s important to have associations of young gays and lesbians, but it’s not enough. Young people in these associations must take action. They must demand that their reality be covered in educational institutions.” He believes that the role of professors is vital. “It only take two or three open-minded people for the whole climate to change,” he notes. Like the other people interviewed for this article, he believes that ignorance is a source of homophobia. After writing positively about gay marriage, he received death threats. But he sticks to his guns. “You have to speak out in society. Defend your own identity. I would like to see young people making demands for themselves: insisting that they be recognized, that when we speak of human nature, we talk about them, too. It’s only normal; otherwise, it’s passive homophobia.”

A better future?

Life for gay and lesbian students in colleges and universities is far from being easy. Fortunately, they can increasingly count on associations that help break the isolation and make self-acceptance easier. It’s encouraging to see that, as a result of efforts by dedicated students and professors, prejudice towards GLBT youth is diminishing. Ignorance can be overcome through awareness-building, communication and education. If the accomplishments of the students interviewed for this article are any indication, we can envision a future for GLBT youth that is characterized less by struggle and more by inspirational success.

English translation: Christine York

To learn more:

Project 10

www.algi.qc.ca/asso/p10

Project 10 is a youth coalition that works to promote the social integration of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender (GLBT) youth and to prevent health and social adjustment problems linked to homophobia and exclusion. To that end, it provides youth workers (in schools, youth homes and youth centres) with concrete strategies to assist young people in their questioning on sexual orientation. This helps them create healthy environments that allow young people, whatever their sexuality, to achieve self-fulfillment in an inclusive society, open to differences and sexual diversity.

Montreal Youth Coalition Against Homophobia

www.coalitionjeunesse.org

“Homophobia is a negative attitude or feeling, an aversion towards gays and lesbians or towards homosexuality in general. It is also the rejection of people considered gay or lesbian and of all things associated with them, for example, gender non-conformity.”—La Fondation Émergence.

www.homophobie.org

AlterHéros

www.alterheros.com/english

L’Alternative

www.alternative.umontreal.ca

Regroupement étudiant dans la diversité sexuelle

www.algi.qc.ca/asso/reds/

Human Rights

www.cdpdj.qc.ca

This article is part of a series on the diversity of values and religious beliefs in colleges and universities and is presented with the financial support of:

^* Amélie Gagnon

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College advocate for Defense of Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) in Constitution

By Drew Harrison on October 5,2008
Hi, my name is Drew Harrison. I am a sophomore who is currently attending Schreiner University in Kerrville, Tx 78028. Most countries (Texas included) have voted against the DOMA of the Constitution of the United States. I have seen not only an ignorance of human dignity but of government defiance and anarchy unseen and unheard of prior to the rudimentary stages of history. While humanity cannot plausibly reverse the hands of time, we can indeed learn to be a supportive GLBTQ community in spite of the lack of knowledge. Lack of knowledge leads to ignorance and blindness, ultimately leading to the fruition of violence, death and slander and dripping disdain. Thank you for this opportunity to voice my opinions!



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